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Sunday
Oct092011

You're Doing It Wrong

Everywhere you turn, indicators of societal and economic decline confront you with grim sadness. The streets and subways are no longer as clean as they once were. Protests and discord block our streets, the masses clamoring for reforms and dreams that occupy a tense middle ground between wishful thinking and woefully misinformed.

Yet, my friends, it did not have to all turn out this way. In fact, much of the malaise that permeates our soulless corporate infrastructure these days is the direct fault of the ignoramuses in charge of these entities. Allow me a moment to highlight two recent examples of utter business stupidity.

Back in the day, I used to subscribe to a number of magazines, including masculine staples GQ and Esquire. The content of these periodicals often proved thought-provoking, and in a worst-case scenario each month at least the "Answer Fella" would trot out a pithy and informative response to a ridiculous inquiry I had never previously considered. Sadly, though, as my bills mounted and my finances dwindled, I was forced to end my years-long relationship with both publications, and discarded the annual renewal cars that usually began appearing two months into a 12-month subscription.

This doesn't mean that the fine folks at Conde Nast and Hearst Magazines accepted my termination of our affiliation, of course. It began with the hard sell, the warning letters, the grave admonitions that my connection to their rich content was in danger of going by the wayside. Then came the (unsolicited) attempts at forcing an automatic renewal, through attempts to debit my various checking and credit accounts; unfortunately for them, money is usually not to be found in those areas, so each request was rebuffed by my financial institutions. Finally, what did they do? Someone of rich genius and rare psychological instinct at each company determined that I really meant to keep my subscriptions going, and that I wanted merely to be billed later. So, both magazines continue to arrive in my mailbox each and every month, without my consent or desire. Considering that I have never once sent them any indication that I wanted to renew -- including never even checking some small box for automatic billing or renewal anywhere -- do they honestly now expect me to pay for all of these issues? I'm not even interested in the content any longer; each new issue winds up immediately in my recycle pile. Good luck cashing in on what you "think" I owe you, gentlemen. I will die before I ever hand you another red cent.

Speaking of collections, I will admit to an occasional call from a bank or other credit institution regarding the delinquency of certain accounts. Here is the thing, though: the banks and collections teams all must employ the same robo-caller mechanism. You know the type: it pre-calls a number on its list of so-called deadbeats, and then once the line is picked up on the other end, transfers you to a human who can then proceed to berate and threaten you in a polite sing-songy manner. Unfortunately, what these systems have not yet figured out is that the transfer process upon answering the phone takes perhaps 15 seconds or more before you wind up connected to a live operator. If I hear that indicative silence on the other end, why in the world do you expect me to stick around and wait for your representative? I say hello, I hear nothing in return, I hang up. The process repeats itself each and every day. Your inefficient system will never reach me, folks. Maybe it's time you ditched that vaunted robo-caller and allowed your staff to dial digits. At least then you would force me to be rude and hang up on an honest-to-goodness person.

So yeah, to reiterate, I have no great love for the huddled, dirty masses occupying a park nobody had ever even heard of in Lower Manhattan beforehand. But those corporations? Man, they are dumb and deserve some mockery for their stupidity as well.

Sunday
Sep042011

This Day in Wrestling History

September 4, 1995. Your humble blogger was seated on the couch along with his suitemates in SUNY Albany's Colonial Quad/Herkimer Hall, glued to the TNT network as WCW Monday Nitro debuted, the first shot in what professional wrestling now fondly looks back at as the Monday Night War.

What a shot it was, too. Held at the Mall of America in Minneapolis, Nitro was everything the traditionally Southern, second-place wrestling promotion usually was not: filled with sleek graphics, an incredibly hot crowd, and enough surprises in each segment to allow the viewer no room to change the channel. At long last, Eric Bischoff's vision for a first-class federation -- where money was no longer an issue -- began to take shape.

Kicking off with an incredibly energetic match between Flyin' Brian and Jushin "Thunder" Liger, Nitro also featured Sting and Ric Flair in Match #1,456 of their epic unending series of decent bouts spanning two decades and a very rare WCW World Championship defense by Hulk Hogan. New additions to the WCW roster, including Lex Luger, Sabu, Michael Wallstreet, and Scott "Flash" Norton also made appearances either at ringside or via promo clip.

WCW Monday Nitro would not be an immediate sensation, as early episodes were filled with garbage such as Hulk Hogan's "Pastamania" restaurants and the execrable Alliance to End Hulkamania between the Four Horsemen and the Dungeon of Doom. It wouldn't be until the Memorial Day weekend in 2006, when Scott Hall made his way down to ringside kicking off the historic nWo angle, until WCW would go on to best WWF Monday Night Raw in the ratings for 84 consecutive weeks. Still, the pieces were slowly being put into place.

Saturday
Sep032011

Things You Cannot Unlearn

While the politically correct community laments the rise to fame of rapper Tyler, the Creator -- and his MTV Video Music Awards recognition as "Best New Artist," Dinosaur Comics alerts us to the fact that potty-themed musicianship is nothing new. Why, in fact, did you know that the most famous scatological composer of all time is...Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?

The scatological material has long been a puzzle for Mozart scholarship, and there have been two main responses. In one view, the scatology was the result of a condition from which Mozart is claimed to have suffered, particularly Tourette syndrome. The other view deals with the scatology by seeking an understanding of the role of scatological humor in Mozart's family, his society, and his times.

Yes, long before 2 Live Crew were "poppin' the coochie" or the Doors wondered if "girl we can't get much higher," Mozart was humoring himself with lyrics such as "lick me in the ass (quickly, quickly)" and this lovely ditty (courtesy of a letter from his mother, Anna Maria, to his father, Leopold:

Addio, ben mio. Keep well, my love.
Into your mouth your arse you'll shove.
I wish you good night, my dear,
But first shit in your bed and make it burst.

Truly, the family and artist for all times.

Friday
Sep022011

Thoughts on Justice League #1 and the "New" DC Universe

"Superman where are you now? When everything's gone wrong somehow?"
-- Genesis, Land of Confusion 

They got me.

This week, for the first time in several years, I ventured into a comics shop and walked out new book in hand. The issue in question is Justice League #1, the flagship title in a total reboot of the DC Comics Universe into a brand-new, younger, and sleeker line. Three separate labels -- DC, Vertigo, and Wildstorm -- have merged into one cohesive universe, and even Action Comics and Detective Comics -- the longest-running and consistently numbered titles of the past 70+ years -- have received new #1 issues. Some slightly modified costumes might abound, in addition.

From a logical and/or marketing standpoint, the time was right. As the oldest player in the superhero business, there's little question that DC has developed a very lengthy and convoluted history that might be more than slightly burdensome for a new reader inspired by The Dark Knight or Green Lantern movie franchises to check out the source material. To combat this, an all-encompassing Crisis or two, reinventing the line and introducing a new jumping-on point, is not an unprecedented or unwarranted maneuver. In this particular instance, it is the events of the Flashpoint mini-series that have (permanently?) rewritten the DC timeline.

As a result, the company will launch 52 new titles, all starting with issue #1, released over the course of the next month. Kicking off with Justice League, we see Batman chasing after a cybernetic alien life form, and gaining an unwelcome helping hand from space cop Green Lantern Hal Jordan. A little expository dialogue later, the thrust-together heroes decide to visit the only other alien they know of on the planet -- a guy operating out of Metropolis calling himself "Superman" -- and the resultant confrontation proves less than stellar, as Jordan flies in fists first and gets decked for his hubris.

As a standalone piece, Justice League is filled with over-the-top superhero action rendered in the traditionally spectacular pencils of superstar industry artist Jim Lee. The nighttime and underground settings help to establish the dark and moody tone of our new earth. Author Geoff Johns is tasked with the unenviable challenge of setting everything up in one fell swoop while conversely writing an extended piece for the trade paperback market, and does a decent job. The issue feels full, or at least full enough of events and story to justify the $3.99 price tag, while also toeing the line of not trying too hard to bombard the reader with superfluous backstory and a rush towards conclusion.

So is it a worthwhile start? Time will tell, but the chess pieces are clearly and carefully arranged on the board at the outset, a promising indicator.

Here's the thing, though: in its own way, DC always worked because of how strongly it stood apart from its competition. The heroes of DC are iconic, larger-than-life figures -- Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman -- with rich, storied histories. Unlike the grim and gritty Marvel Universe, the ordinary citizens of DC revere and admire their heroes. The heroes are just that: heroes, doing the right thing no matter the odds and standing for truth, justice, and "all that stuff." These characters are grizzled veterans, and part of a dynamic and colorful family, and their interactions have always carried the weight of that shared experience.

With Justice League, though, one cannot but feel as if teleported from DC into the strange, darker reality of its competition...or, at least, into a dystopian Frank Miller dreamworld. It is odd, even shocking, to see Batman being chased down and shot at by the Gotham Police or to listen in on the first-ever interaction between the Green Lantern and the Dark Knight. It just feels wrong. "Rob Liefeld/Heroes Reborn" wrong. This is not your father's DC Universe.

Then again, isn't that exactly the point?

Monday
Aug082011

Face It, They Don't Want You

Cross-posted at NY Political Buzz Examiner.

In a representative democracy, the call to serve should be held up as the nobelest and most humble of endeavors, a chance to stand up for your peers and participate in the grandest democratic experiment in human history.

If you live in Queens, though, you might as well forget it: the two parties want nothing to do with you and your pitiful little quest for higher office. Take the example of one Justin Wax Jacobs, a recent college graduate from my alma mater SUNY Albany.

In just under one week, Jacobs and about 10 of his volunteers had collected more than 1,600 signatures. After being told by the Queens Democrats that there wasn’t time to interview him to determine whether he could be a viable candidate for the party as they instead chose Michael Simanowitz, a former aide to Mayersohn, Jacobs was ecstatic that he might still be able to make a bid for the seat that represents the neighborhood where he has lived nearly his entire life.

Then, however, the city Board of Elections ruled last week that Jacobs’ signatures were invalid because he had not written the number of the Assembly district on top of each page of signatures.

“I followed the New York laws and rules regarding the Independence nomination, and I did everything that the petition form from the Board of Elections said to do,” Jacobs said. “Nowhere on the sample form did it say I had to have the Assembly district number on top of every single page. It’s upsetting.”

New York's election laws have been carefully crafted over the years to disincentivize running for office unless you are the hand-picked chosen candidate of the political bosses, a rich tradition dating back to the days of Boss Tweed and Tamany Hall. In addition, draconian and obscure regulations guarantee the employ a legion of lawyers throughout the five boroughs. It's a perfect symbiotic system that ensures those in power remain right where they are, and that those who benefit from the arrangement continue to do so.

Oh, and what of the Republican candidate in the special election slated for September 13, a mere month away? Dude's Web site is devoid of any information -- even the "press" button is just an e-mail link, and his Twitter and Facebook pages have exactly zero posts between them. 

And you wonder why our state is close behind the nation in impending financial doom.

Saturday
Jul232011

Did Someone Say, "Road Trip?"

1,305.6 miles, door to door

300+ Foursquare check-in points

10 US Interstate Highways

8 hours today driving home

3 US States

2 casinos

2 boats

2 iPhones (don't ask)

1 epic journey across one of the most picturesque states in the Union

1 trip across the border into our fair neighbor to the north

All in all, one of the greatest and most memorable vacations of my life. Glad to have been a part of it, revisiting old memories and making new ones. Lots more commentary to come, but what really makes for a successful journey cramped in a motor vehicle is, of course, the music. Judging by the set list below, I think my travel mates and I did a pretty steller job of keeping the action lively over a fairly substantial time in such quarters.

RoadTrip 2011 Official Playlist

O, Yeah! Ultimate Aerosmith Hits, Disc 2 -- Aerosmith
Jar of Flies -- Alice in Chains
One Day Remains -- Alter Bridge
Born in the USA -- Bruce Springsteen
7even Year Itch: Collective Soul's Greatest Hits 1994-2001 -- Collective Soul
The Sickness -- Disturbed
The Very Best of the Eagles, Disc 2 -- Eagles
The Colour and the Shape -- Foo Fighters
Greatest Hits -- Guns N' Roses
The Greatest Hits -- INXS
The Best of John Hiatt -- John Hiatt
Remasters, Disc 1 -- Led Zeppelin
Throwing Copper -- Live
Rearviewmirror, Disc 1 -- Pearl Jam
Hit, Disc 1 -- Peter Gabriel
Hits -- Phil Collins
Meddle -- Pink Floyd
The Dark Side of the Moon -- Pink Floyd
Every Breath You Take: The Classics -- Police
Songs for the Deaf -- Queens of the Stone Age
OK Computer -- Radiohead
Californication -- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Greatest Hits -- Richard Marx
Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Disc 1 -- The Smashing Pumpkins
Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Disc 2 -- The Smashing Pumpkins
Superunknown -- Soundgarden
Purple -- Stone Temple Pilots
The Joshua Tree -- U2
Weezer (Blue Album) -- Weezer

Tuesday
Jul052011

The Weekly Examiner

 

Obamacare and the Law of Unintended Consequences

As with most government actions, it started with the noblest of intentions: to provide safe, affordable healthcare to every citizen of the United States, leaving no person untreated or left to suffer.

Unfortunately, the early returns for a law that has not even yet fully gone into effect seem to indicate a nasty consequence: area businesses are fraught with uncertainty over just what exactly is contained in the law, and are not hiring new workers as a result, according to an article in the New York Post.

Continue reading on Examiner.com Obamacare and the Law of Unintended Consequences - New York Political Buzz | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/political-buzz-in-new-york/obamacare-and-the-law-of-unintended-consequences#ixzz1RH3OO9J5

 

 

Will Governor Cuomo Become President Cuomo One Day?

As he slowly but steadily builds a record of accomplishment in the state capitol, rumors are already starting to swirl that New York Governor Andrew Cuomo might--already--be setting himself up as the front-runner for the Democratic nomination for President.

In 2016, that is, since current President Barack Obama will likely be a shoo-in for his party's nomination for re-election in 2012.

Continue reading on Examiner.com Will Governor Cuomo become President Cuomo one day? - New York Political Buzz | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/political-buzz-in-new-york/will-governor-cuomo-become-president-cuomo-one-day#ixzz1RH3iPf1C

 

 

Wednesday
Jun222011

The Millionaire Paradox

As the sun rises in the East, a new day means a new attack on embattled New Jersey Governor Chris Christie by the forces of big government and big spending. This new commercial -- tweeted and promoted by the leftist "New Media Firm" -- singles out the governor for having the audacity to be a millionaire, and for surrounding himself with other millionaires (by which, they mean a whopping "three.")

Here is the ad, and if you know me you might understand why it resonates in such a foul manner in my viscera.

Of course, comments and voting have been disabled on YouTube, so here is an expanded version of what I attempted to express on their site:

Should the governor only fill his cabinet with the destitute? Does being a "millionaire" disqualify you from having empathy or of being worthy to engage in political and government discourse? Does it prevent you from being a hard-working and dedicated public servant? I find it extremely unlikely that the Powers That Be on the Democratic side of the ledger are all paupers themselves. In fact, one would think being surrounded by successful people might instill a little creativity and can-do spirit in the ranks of the bureaucracy.

This is absolutely disgraceful class warfare at it's most shameful. The offerings favored by the left and the New Media Firm will only serve to further enslave the masses and keep them beholden to their chosen leaders. And I bet those leaders will be millionaires, too.

Tuesday
Jun212011

A Published Author

It seems as if I spend my every day doing some form of writing. At work, I author Web pages, social media posts, e-mail marketing campaigns, and more. Outside of the office, of course, I also dabble in blogging and satisfying my own unending desire to express my own opinions on any and all subjects under the sun. But other than as part of a faceless cog, an anonymous writer in a vast and talented marketing communications staff, nobody had ever seen fit to take my work and publish it.

Today that changed, as your humble blogger has succumbed to the immense peer pressure and examples set forth by Francase and Big Daddy Jeff and joined the Examiner.com staff, covering New York Politics. I'm still undecided about the platform -- either it's the most democratic voice of the people on a large scale ever undertaken by a Web entity or it's a brilliant link farm/ad serving profit monger, I can't tell which -- but I am grateful for the opportunity and look forward to covering the nuances of one-party rule here in the Big Apple with a more straight and sober approach.

Don't worry, my three readers; Geek Soap Box will never go anywhere. I will always need a platform to opine on topics outside of local politics, particularly involving copious amounts of snark and profanity. Just expect some occasional and shameless post whoring and links to my other work on occasion. 

And on that note, here's a teaser of my first published piece: As Weiner packs, challengers line up to fill his seat.

Monday marked the close of the tumultuous scandal that came to be known as Weinergate, as former United States Congressman Anthony Weiner (D-Forest Hills) submitted his official letter of resignation and began the process of cleaning out his offices as two giant blue recycling bins stood guard outside his District of Columbia office.

With Weiner's resignation effective midnight tomorrow, it will fall upon New York Governor Andrew Cuomo to call for a special election to fill the embattled congressman's seat. As the process unfolds, several contenders are speculated as having great interest in throwing their hats into the ring.

Like they say on the big blogs, click over to read the rest.

Sunday
Jun192011

It's Never Exactly Been Wine and Roses for the Mets

It's been a rough past few years for the New York Mets. On the field, the team spent a few years suffering some of the worst late-season collapses in the standings of all time, followed by a years of injury and woeful regular-season win-loss totals. Off the field, the team witnessed questionable public relations decisions, front-office turnover, and, of course, ownership being allegedly implicated in one heck of a ponzi scheme.

Random seasons of heart-wrenching glory aside, though, this is mere par for the course for one of baseball's most storied but complicated franchises. And, with the recent release of pitcher Scott Kazmir by the Los Angeles Angels, Deadspin has taken a moment to revisit one of the most infamous trades of the past decade: Kazmir for Zambrano.

So, why did the Mets make the original deal? It was a classic example of over-thinking a relatively simple matter.

The thinking went that the trade represented a new low for the Mets' frequently inept management. And it did, but only because they gamed themselves. They believed they had identified an overvalued asset in Kazmir and an undervalued asset in Zambrano, and they were, generally speaking, correct—Moneyball thinking, just absent common sense. Zambrano was an OK pitcher who too many thought was bad. Kazmir was a good pitcher who too many thought was great. But swapping them kept the Mets from reaping any rewards.

[...] 

The Mets knew that Zambrano was actually better than he looked, and that he had a high ceiling. He struck out hitters at a nice clip—seven per nine—and simply walked and hit too many. He was young enough (28), with good stuff. A worthwhile gamble.

With the clarity of history, it's looking more and more like the trade was not as lopsided as initially considered; in fact, it proved to be more or less a bust for both teams. Zambrano is long removed from professional baseball, his last moment being a memorable unsolicited jog off the field at Shea Stadium. Kazmir, meanwhile, has been unable to stay on the field for a complete season, and in fact in recent years has displayed none of the talent and ability that made him at one time the #3 ranked pitching prospect in the Majors.

So why rehash the matter? I do so not to defend the forgotten Jim Duquette, but instead to hopefully remind current general manager Sandy Alderson and company to not over-think things this season as we approach trading season. Yes, the Mets are competitive and have displayed a surprisingly reassuring level of fire and talent this season, but it's unlikely they will wind up earning a playoff berth when it's all said and done. That being said, in players like Jose Reyes and David Wright, the club has a homegrown, productive, and popular left side of the infield that can remain such for at least 5-10 more years. Don't get too smart and undo what doesn't need to be undone.

Links:

 

 

Sunday
Jun122011

Acting Out of Smite?

Far be it for me to consider myself the most devout or even spiritual these days -- my skepticism over the existence and routine intervention of a Creator leaves me able to merely shrug my shoulders at best -- but occasionally you read a story and go, hmm.

Harold Camping, the preacher who infamously and erroneously predicted that the Rapture would happen last month, and who fleeced many into donating their life savings in preparation for the Second Coming, was hospitalized with a stroke earlier this weekend

The 89-year-old radio evangelist and president of the Oakland nonprofit Family Radio was taken by ambulance from his house Thursday night, a neighbor said, but his well-known, gravelly voice that led many believers to donate millions of dollars to his cause may never be the same.

"He had a stroke, it was on his right side," said the neighbor, who declined to give her name but said she and her husband helped and comforted Camping's wife, Shirley, as the drama unfolded Thursday night.

Her husband spoke again with Shirley Camping on Friday. "His speech appears to be a little bit slurred but otherwise he's OK," the neighbor said. "(Shirley) said he was doing good "... and the only thing that's affected is his speech."

Karma? A little revenge gesture by the Man Upstairs for exploiting his name in vain? Or merely freakishly timed happenstance? Like I said, hmm.

Monday
Jun062011

Life on Mars?

While the political world reveled in the flaccid details of congressional genatalia, did a random amateur astronomer uncover a secret alien base of operations on Mars

A self-described "armchair astronaut" claims to have identified a human (or alien) base on Mars. David Martines noticed a mysterious rectangular structure that appears to be on the Red Planet's surface while trolling the planetary surface using Google Mars, a new map program created from compiled satellite images of the planet.

"This is a video of something I discovered on Google Mars quite by accident," said Martines, the armchair astronaut, in a now-viral YouTube video. "I call it Bio Station Alpha, because I'm just assuming that something lives in it or has lived in it."

He zooms in the surface anomaly — a long, pixelated, white object — and lists the coordinates as 49'19.73"N 29 33'06.53"W. "It's over 700 feet long and 150 feet wide. It looks like it's a cylinder or made up of cylinders," he says.

Want more? Here's the video:

Of course, it's likely a camera artifact or error -- possibly from cosmic rays interfering with the camera's operations, according to the article -- that created the highly pixelated and cryptic object. Still, watch that video for the first time on little sleep and after a few drinks and one cannot help but utter some variation of OMGWTFBBQ?

Take us home tonight, David.

 H/t to Hot Air, by way of my source for all things apolcalyptic and astronomic, GipperClone.

Monday
Jun062011

Anthony Weiner: It's Over

American hero Andrew Breitbart (link by way of Ace of Spades HQ) puts the final nail in the coffin of United States Congressman Anthony Weiner's political career.

I'm not happy or satisfied. It's disgusting and disgraceful that this weasely, wimpish turd reached the lofty levels he did. Hopefully he will resign in the next 24 hours and we will be done with his ugly face and sociopathic tendencies once and for all.

OK, I lied. The real reason I'm not happy is because these chest shots unfortunately confirm (or render as highly likely) that the bulging member we have previously seen does in fact belong Weiner. I've now seen Anthony Weiner's alleged erection. That is a turn of events I would not wish upon anyone. We are all losers for becoming mired in his sick sexual predation games.

Sunday
Jun052011

Bank of Morons, or Man Bites Dog

What do you do when a massive multinational corporation unjustly aggrieves you, and then fails to make good even after ordered to by the courts? Foreclose on it

It started five months ago when Bank of America filed foreclosure papers on the home of a couple, who didn't owe a dime on their home.

The couple said they paid cash for the house.

The case went to court and the homeowners were able to prove they didn't owe Bank of America anything on the house. In fact, it was proven that the couple never even had a mortgage bill to pay.

A Collier County Judge agreed and after the hearing, Bank of America was ordered, by the court to pay the legal fees of the homeowners', Maurenn Nyergers and her husband. 

The Judge said the bank wrongfully tried to foreclose on the Nyergers' house.

So, how did it end with bank being foreclosed on?  After more than 5 months of the judge's ruling, the bank still hadn't paid the legal fees, and the homeowner's attorney did exactly what the bank tried to do to the homeowners. He seized the bank's assets.

"They've ignored our calls, ignored our letters, legally this is the next step to get my clients compensated, " attorney Todd Allen told CBS.

Sheriff's deputies, movers, and the Nyergers' attorney went to the bank and foreclosed on it. The attorney gave instructions to to remove desks, computers, copiers, filing cabinets and any cash in the teller's drawers.

After about an hour of being locked out of the bank, the bank manager handed the attorney a check for the legal fees.

Brings new meaning to the term "toxic assets," doesn't it? 

Of course, this story brings a somewhat special joy to my dark heart, given the treatment I've received at the hands of Bank of America -- not to mention what they've done to friends of mine. But that will have to wait for another post.

Anyway, it's nice to see the Ordinary Average Joe strike back in an unconventional manner. I wonder if the "too big to fail" corporation is going for a new business strategy -- slowly but surely alienate every customer in the country and hope the government will bail it out yet again. In the interim, at least, justice has been served.

H/t to Francase's Facebook profile.

Sunday
Jun052011

Pork: It's What's for Death

Are US Special Forces Coating Bullets in Pig Fat? 

The makers of Silver Bullet Gun Oil claim it contains 13 per cent USDA liquefied pig fat thus making the product 'a highly effective counter-Islamic terrorist force multiplier.'

The apparent owner of the gun oil site, who goes by the name 'The Midnight Rider,' explains how the pig fat will transfer onto anything the bullet strikes.

This 'effectively denies entry to Allah's paradise to an Islamo-fascist terrorist,' Rider adds.

The oil, which costs $8.95 for 4oz, apparently puts the 'fear of death into them (terrorists)'.

In Islam consumption of pork is forbidden, but the Quran also states that if one is forced to consume the meat then they are guiltless and therefore not disqualified from paradise.

The website also notes its customers include members of the U.S. military.

'Thousands of bottles of Silver Bullet Gun Oil have been distributed since July of 2004 by its creator to members of ALL U.S. Military branches,' it claims.

There is virtually no way to tell if Silver Bullet's claim regarding its product's popularity among the armed forces is bunk, but regardless it does make for a fascinating example of psychological-ops warfare. Islamic terrorists are encouraged and enabled in part by their belief that their acts will earn them a place in paradise in the afterlife, effectively removing the human fear of death from their psyches. Add that fear back in -- even if just slightly via rumor or innuendo -- and who knows if perhaps it gives our enemies additional pause before waging jihad? These individuals aren't exactly rocket scientists, and every little advantage could potetentially mean one less US soldier in harm's way or one less US citizen murdered.

It's called "thinking outside the box" to come up with solutions to the problems of our time.

H/t to Girl on the Right for finding my favorite story of the weekend. 

Wednesday
Jun012011

Man Impaled By Air Hose, Inflated to Extreme Proportions, Survives?

Anthony Weiner is not the only man filled with a lot of hot air these days, as a truck driver in New Zealand suffers one of those "one in a million" events that proctologists only dream of

McCormack, 48, was standing on the rigging between his truck and trailer at Waiotahi Contractors when he slipped and fell onto a brass valve that was connecting the truck's brakes to the compressed air supply. The nozzle pierced his left buttock and air rushed into his body at 100 pounds per square inch.

"In a matter of minutes, my body blew to twice its size," McCormack told New Zealand's 3News.

His boss, Robbie Petersen, witnessed the accident and told ABCNews.com, "His body started to literally blow up and before we knew it, his face went up like a balloon."

Definitely a "wow" story from last week's news, and fortunately McCormack is OK and recovering after his coworkers managed to shut off the power to the air supply and keep him still until paramedics arrived. I guess the driver now knows first hand why Dig Dug was so successful hunting down Pookas and Fygars in his garden.

 

Tuesday
May312011

Why Weiner Matters

Anthony Weiner: Still a Douchebag

Here's why the story known as WeinerGate matters. Say he really did send a photo of his erect genitalia over the Internet; this means a sitting member of the United States House of Representatives is trolling the Internet for nubile young babes and porn stars and sexting them from his public (official) Twitter account. For that, he should be removed from office and possibly (if the advances were unsolicited) even labeled a sex offender.

And if he is innocent? Then we have a case where a sitting member of the United States House of Representatives was the victim of cybercrime, and regardless of party the matter should be taken very seriously and the offenders hunted down and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Beyond that, as -- I may be repeating myself here -- a sitting member of the United States House of Representatives, Congressman Weiner is accountable to the public. We, the people, are his bosses, not vice versa. Much like when President Obama was asked to provide his birth certificate, the notion that matters not specifically on-message or related to a specific political agenda are mere "distractions" that should be ignored, and not legitimate inquiries, is a sign of precisely what sort of cancerous elitest mentality permeates our newfound "ruling class." If our elected officials are unaccountable to anyone, how can we entrust them with guarding the sanctity of our inalienable rights?

Monday
May302011

This Shack Is in Need of Repairs

The 1980s were a magical time, filed with imagination-spanning wonder at the technology and innovation to come, and noplace more captured that essence than the local Radio Shack store. Filled with circuitry, top-shelf stereo components, miniature toy robotics, and enough do-it-yourself parts to build your own space shuttle, the stores were filled with geeks, audiophiles, and anyone with an inquisitive and curious mind.

Sadly, while many Shack locations remain, the magic does not. Now, Radio Shack is more the home of pushy salesman and cheap mobile phones than a place for today's creators, and the company knows it. That's why they are reaching out via video and social media for your help.

So, as Amy said in the video, we want to hear from you. Leave a comment below with the top three DIY-focused parts, pieces, or products that you would like to be able to find in a RadioShack store. We'll compile the results and get to work bringing in the top products to help make your projects bigger and better. We wouldn't be here without great customers, so we really appreciate you taking the time to comment.

While it's great to see an old favorite refuse to go quietly into the night, I cannot help but feel as if this is not nearly enough to keep the company permanently afloat. In a marketplace where I can order HDMI cables for a few dollars on the Internet, Radio Shack needs to rebrand itself more as a location or event than just a place with everything related to electronics. It should try to recapture that special feeling that made trips to the store so memorable in its heyday.

Fill the walls less with crappy cellular phones and overpriced junk and more with examples of the latest and greatest tech available. Find products and components that inspire and make the local geek want to stop by and just peruse the store's shelves (and maybe even walk out with something they didn't even know they had to have).

Retail has not died in the rise of the Internet and bix-box stores., and Radio Shack can still hold a place in the marketplace of ideas. It just needs to remember what it once was.

Sunday
May292011

Show Me Your Weiner!

It's the best story of a long holiday weekend that the mainstream media won't be telling you about. An outspoken and brash Democratic Congressman from New York City, connected by marriage to the Clintons and reportedly positioning himself for a run at Mayor in 2013, sends a picture of "a man's" engorged member to a college student from Seattle.

Or his account was hacked. Either way, it's quite the sordid tale. Let's look at the facts.

1) Congressman drops a completely random Seattle reference in a tweet related to a television appearance.

2) Later that evening, a Seattle-area student (who had previously referred to this same Congressman as "her boyfriend") receives a public mention on Twitter that includes the offending photo.

3) The Congressman then casts his account as "hacked," yet also immediately regains access and tweets with abandon right after the incident.

4) Both the photo and the student's entire online social media persona have subsequently been swept down the rabbit hole into oblivion.

Let's assume first that the account was indeed hacked, and that our honorable representative acted with total nobility and honesty. In an age of rampant identity theft and where the President of the United States can reauthorize controversial provisions of the PATRIOT Act via e-signature, isn't it of paramount import that our elected leaders have the most secure communications and platforms possible? Surely, the calls will come soon from Representative Weiner for a full investigation by the Department of Homeland Security and the Federal Bureau of Investigation, right?

Otherwise, by contrast, we have yet another case of a sociopathic individual abusing the powers of elected office for personal, perverse, predatorial sexual gratification. Given how strong and handsome the Congressman appears to be on his Twitter avatar, I know you as shocked as I am, dear reader, with these revelations.

Verum Serum's exhaustive research seems to have uncovered an unhealthy and unwise connection between the Representative's Twitter account and numerous nubile and impressionable young ladies. Meanwhile, Ace of Spades HQ has utterly obliterated the "hack" argument by putting us into knowledge and facts regarding the timeline and likelihood of said hack. And the always-indefatiguable Other McCain links to the systematic elimination of Genette Nicole Cordova from the entirety of the Interwebs.

I think it's safe to assume at this point where the truth falls. Either way, though, Weiner has been uncovered to be an incompetent techno-n00b or a pervert. Not a great Memorial Day weekend for the Congressman from New York.

Saturday
May282011

A Portrait of the Artist as a "Retard"

What defines art? Is there an aesthetic or intrinsic beauty that must underlie an act of creation to deem it worthy of recognition? It is merely the acceptance as such as part of some larger societal compact? The controversial recent documentary Exit Through the Gift Shop blows the lid off of the entire notion of what constitutes true "art," and does so by thrusting into the spotlight a simple Frenchman of questionable talents, proping him up as the next great post-modern iconographer "Mr. Brainwash."

After a quick and nondescript first half -- seemingly a documentary of the underground street art scene as told from the perspective of French immigrant and Los Angeles resident Thierry Guetta -- Exit eventually takes a fascinating (scripted? genuine?) left turn into a takedown of pretentious hipster life, thanks to a innocent suggestion from the infamous and anonymous Brit cultural activist and street artist, Banksy.

You see, partially to get the intellectually challenged Guetta out of his hair, Banksy encourages him to move out from behind the camera and become the very artist he so enjoys documenting in his savant, completist style. Guetta is transformed before our eyes, from nice guy, husband and father into a raging control-freak, in charge of his own assembly line style of quick and dirty popular culture commentary.

That this "retard" (referred to as such in the film by his exasperated and overworked staff) could basically masturbate onto popular culture icons and then turn around and sell them to the masses for millions of dollars is the perfect indictment of art-fag society (literally thousands line up to see his initial offerings, the collection Life Is Beautiful). Case in point, the rechristened Mr. Brainwash's most inspiring (in his eyes) works include a giant can of spray paint rebranded as Campbell's tomato soup, a giant robot monstrosity constructed from a dozen old television sets, and a photoshopped image of Elvis Presley, his guitar swapped for a toy machine gun in a work named "Don't Be Cruel." To wit, Brainwash winds up being the cover artist for a Madonna greatest hits package, tying the whole thing up into a perfect ironic bow.

So, is Exit a colossal hoax? Is Brainwash's monumental rise to success in Los Angeles all part of some diabolical scheme by Bansky that exploaded beyond anyone's imagination? Is real life a better imitation of art than anyone could have scripted? Does it even matter? The events depicted in Exit legitimately happen, regardless of whether the protagonist was in on the joke or not. The "retard" filmmaker becomes artist, and the "real" artist laughs all the way to the bank either way.

More importantly, though, Exit is in many ways the final scathing indictment of the death of true art in the hands of popular culture. Nowadays, it's considered "artistic" and "talented" to actually be merely "derivative." Mr. Brainwash's art is, more or less, something any of us could do in ten minutes with Photoshop (really, you gave Spock a blonde wig? HOW BOLD!). But EVERYTHING is like this now. Music is processed and sampled remixes of older tunes. Movies are just reboots of old properties (or pilfered from comic books). Video games are more or less just an endless array of once-a-year sequels. Art is dead. Mr. Brainwash (and, to a lesser extent, Banksy despite his more pure intents) is just a symptom of the disease.