Idiot

An SUV drives up my street and double-parks outside the local delicatessen, as many are wont to do on a given day on a bustling thoroughfare. Unfortunately, this particular time, a patrol car operated by New York’s Finest happens to be right behind the SUV.

The cop honks his horn at the stopped vehicle in front of him. Nothing.

The cop honks again. The SUV driver, confused as to what is happening, rolls up the street perhaps no more than five feet, and then promptly puts the car right back into park. Still double parked, but now slightly further down the street.

Another honk. No reaction.

A fourth honk. Nothing. The officer is left with no choice but to flash his lights, exit his vehicle, and promptly issue a summons to the offending driver.

Exit question: Just what in the blue hell was the SUV driver thinking? Was he unaware that double parking is illegal, despite displayed signage to the contrary (not to mention common sense)? When a cop honks at you, you move! Circle around the block if you must; by the time you return the officer will likely be long gone. But to sit there in a state of defiance or oblivion–and then to get angry and yell at the officer? Congrats, dude, you win the Moron of the Day Award.

Solara Snowpocalypse 2011

The single task I loathe most when it comes to automobile ownership has to be cleaning the thing off after a major winter snowstorm. Miss your window of opportunity and you will find your vehicle either plowed in behind a five-foot wall of ice or otherwise encased within a giant frosty cube that nary a chisel can crack.

So, given the horrific snowfall that has plagued New York in the new year, I knew I was heading for trouble when I ventured downstairs yesterday to scope out my beloved Solara’s status … after weeks of letting it sit idle in my apartment building’s lot.

Suffice to say unburying the car proved to be an insurmountable task, primarily because a one-foot thick ice wall prevented me from even getting close enough to the vehicle to open the trunk and grab my shovel and scraper. The car did “beep” at me when I hit the unlock button on the key fob, though, so at least the battery is OK.

It’s my fault that it’s come to this; I should have remained vigilant in digging out after each storm, lest they join forces with weeks of sub-freezing temperatures to create an impenetrable barrier. It’s just another example of how my pervasive procrastination and apathy prove to be my worst enemy. Guess I’ll have to pray for an early spring thaw.

Sunday Moment of Zen: Words to Live By

Taken in the parking lot of CVS Pharmacy in Douglaston, Queens.

Either profound words to live by or the greatest name for a reserved parking entity ever.
(Click to embiggen...)