Show Me Your Weiner!

It's the best story of a long holiday weekend that the mainstream media won't be telling you about. An outspoken and brash Democratic Congressman from New York City, connected by marriage to the Clintons and reportedly positioning himself for a run at Mayor in 2013, sends a picture of "a man's" engorged member to a college student from Seattle.

Or his account was hacked. Either way, it's quite the sordid tale. Let's look at the facts.

1) Congressman drops a completely random Seattle reference in a tweet related to a television appearance.

2) Later that evening, a Seattle-area student (who had previously referred to this same Congressman as "her boyfriend") receives a public mention on Twitter that includes the offending photo.

3) The Congressman then casts his account as "hacked," yet also immediately regains access and tweets with abandon right after the incident.

4) Both the photo and the student's entire online social media persona have subsequently been swept down the rabbit hole into oblivion.

Let's assume first that the account was indeed hacked, and that our honorable representative acted with total nobility and honesty. In an age of rampant identity theft and where the President of the United States can reauthorize controversial provisions of the PATRIOT Act via e-signature, isn't it of paramount import that our elected leaders have the most secure communications and platforms possible? Surely, the calls will come soon from Representative Weiner for a full investigation by the Department of Homeland Security and the Federal Bureau of Investigation, right?

Otherwise, by contrast, we have yet another case of a sociopathic individual abusing the powers of elected office for personal, perverse, predatorial sexual gratification. Given how strong and handsome the Congressman appears to be on his Twitter avatar, I know you as shocked as I am, dear reader, with these revelations.

Verum Serum's exhaustive research seems to have uncovered an unhealthy and unwise connection between the Representative's Twitter account and numerous nubile and impressionable young ladies. Meanwhile, Ace of Spades HQ has utterly obliterated the "hack" argument by putting us into knowledge and facts regarding the timeline and likelihood of said hack. And the always-indefatiguable Other McCain links to the systematic elimination of Genette Nicole Cordova from the entirety of the Interwebs.

I think it's safe to assume at this point where the truth falls. Either way, though, Weiner has been uncovered to be an incompetent techno-n00b or a pervert. Not a great Memorial Day weekend for the Congressman from New York.