Geek Soap Box

There exists a phenomenon among New York City subway riders that astounds and confuses me.  When I first noticed it, I reasoned that it had to be a mistake, a one-time example of poor attention to detail.  Then I realized that I have seen it reoccur approximately one time every month, if not far more [...]

I haven’t talked much of my online dating exploits in years for a variety of reasons, mostly which involve maintaining the smallest sense of personal privacy a blogger/Twitter/Facebook/Foursquare user can have. Anyway, tired of the human cesspool that is Match, I decided to give Chemistry a try; it seemed at the time like it had [...]

So I came back to my hotel room last night, after the maid had cleaned up, and, upon entering the bathroom, felt as if something was…amiss.  Can you spot the cause of my confusion?

Arriving soon, courtesy of the municipal government of the City of New York: the “official” NYC condom, in a special limited designer edition! After assessing hundreds of possible package designs for a special limited-edition NYC Condom, a panel of judges has selected five finalists. The Health Department has received nearly 600 entries since December 15, [...]

I have always had massive issues getting a full and rest-filled night’s sleep.  My anxious and over-worked mind finds it nearly impossible to wind down in the evening, and when factoring in some pretty significant issues with loud snoring/sleep apnea, it’s no wonder I’m always tired and ready for a nap. My worst sleep-related flaw, [...]

Amidst the chaos and unrelenting waves of injuries and shoddy fundamentals that have plagued this 2009 New York Mets season, another character has emerged from the fray.  A galvanizing force that has united the legions of blue and orange fans in their unrelenting hatred for his callous style and enigmatic stranglehold over top team brass. [...]

Absolut Vodka has positively taken over NY’s Grand Central Terminal lately with countless advertisements touting the brand’s new campaign, “In an Absolut World…” Look, I know I occasionally have a filthy mind, but surely I can’t be the only one that sees a not-so-subtle vaginal/clitoral theme to these images right?  I mean, what else can [...]

It probably started off simply enough — after two relative disappointments in Donkey Kong 3 and Mario Bros., but with the quarter-sucking success of the original Donkey Kong merely a short memory away — Nintendo developer Shigeru Miyamoto and his team got together to create a new game featuring the popular plumber from Brooklyn for [...]

I don’t know about you, but if it ever comes to pass that I need to be cut wide open and have my insides poked and prodded by a trained specialist, I want to be freaking out cold when it happens and remember nothing upon awakening. In India, though, some revolutionary new techniques involve keeping [...]

Three interesting little tidbits from the world of celebrities and gossip that I’m too lazy to post individually: Gwyneth Paltrow has underway a campaign to fill the earth with smelly, greasy-haired pregnant women.  Apparently, according to an article in the rail-thin Madonna BFF’s online magazine allegedly authored by the celebrity herself, the magical elixir known [...]

It’s lazy Saturday here at Geek Soap Box World Headquarters after a trying week of work, so let’s all relax together with some funky recreations of classic 8-Bit NES games. How about Michael Jackson’s Punch-Out!! to whet your whistle in anticipation of this summer’s impending Wii release in the phenomenal boxing/puzzle franchise. If the traditional [...]

Congrats to the owner and operator of the Web site Hot Chicks With Douchebags, who successfully had a defamation lawsuit filed again his book and site dismissed on the grounds that the uber-hott plaintiffs were suffering from an incurable case of douchescroatitis. A New Jersey judge has dismissed a defamation lawsuit filed by three women [...]

So, as you likely know, our current president, Barack Hussein Obama, is the author of several best-selling, semi-autobiographical books. As part of the process that goes into the production of every book these days, Obama also narrated the entire text of both tomes for release as audiobooks and downloadable mp3 files. The problem? Apparently, one [...]

This uncorroborated story came to me via an e-mail from a friend. I am pasting it below and make no judgments or conclusions as to its alleged chain of events. Patriots’ Cassel urinated on at Super Bowl According to a gossip column in the NY Daily News, Matt Cassel was urinated on in the bathroom [...]

I have been remiss if I have not mentioned my deep and undying love for the tidbits emerging from The Yankee Years, Joe Torre’s tell-all expose revealing the hated Bronx franchise for all of its sordid mess. First came the revelation that his teammates referred to Alex Rodriguez as “A-Fraud.” Now comes wind of Roger [...]

The amazing thing about the Internet is…I believe it. H/t to Street Carnage.

Wouldn’t you love to walk into a meeting with an unruly client or bloviating manager and just start handing these out instead of your standard business card? Somewhere, Patrick Bateman weeps.

No doubt most of us — especially those off from work for 16 days and counting — are lamenting and fearing the impending return to the office that January 5th marks. I know, personally, I managed to accomplish diddly squat of my goals for the time off, and am still as stressed and as frazzled [...]

***NOT SAFE FOR WORK CONTENT OR HUMAN CONSUMPTION WARNING! TURN AWAY NOW!!!*** Every day, the advertising and marketing communities are inundated with talk about user-generated content, and how the future of marketing and communications lies in the hands of the consumer. This passing of the messaging torch, so to speak, has given rise to countless [...]

In the future, under the oppressive dictatorial regime of President for Life Barack Hussein Obama, we will all be forced in some way or another to wear a personal “mark” indicating our collective devotion to the teachings of our Left-Leaning Master. One way we can do that in style? Growing jewelry, an ironic and inspired [...]

It’s not quite the same as belonging to a flat-earth society or believing that Jesus Christ walked the earth with the dinosaurs, but two Congressional Democrats actually want the FCC to create a second, pornography-free Internet. Despite resistance from public interest groups and free-speech advocates, two Congressional democrats have expressed their support for a proposal [...]

Cast aside your tall tales of the Loch Ness Monster, the Jersey Devil, or the Yeti. The folks on the sleepy end of Long Island have them all beaten, courtesy of the strange decomposing behemoth now known as the Montauk Monster that washed up ashore this week. Not quite a pig, not quite a dog, [...]

Think you have seen it all on the Internet? Well, I’ll see your Rule 34 and raise you Gay. Transformers. Porn. Don’t believe me? Fresh off a hard-fought victory, Optimus unleashes his Prime on a vanquished Megatron. Look, I’m just the messenger, OK? Don’t take it out on me.

Can someone explain to me just what in the blue hell is going on up there in Canada with all the severed feet randomly appearing on beaches? Where are the feet coming from? Aren’t there people randomly “walking” around missing an appendage? Is there some crazy person working in a funeral home somewhere having a [...]